Pieces
by CandyGirl97
Summary: Sammy's broken. Five stories from different POVs about Sam slipping off the edge. Post Lucifer Rising. Spoilers through Season four, and my take on how Kripke should do season 5 ep 1. Crazy!Sammy and Protective/Comforting!Dean to start with. Enjoy!
1. Dean

Pieces by Candygirl97

Disclaimer: I wish I owned supernatural, cuz then Dean never would've gone to hell, and Sam wouldn't drink demon blood. :(

Summary: Five stories about Sam going off the deep-end after Lucifer Rises. Includes: Jo and Ellen. There is no Sam/Ruby, because I think it was one-sided and she loved him and he wanted her demon blood. It also contains Sam's five stages of grieving. The last one is kind of twisted though, fair warning.

Story One: Dean

Sammy was just standing there, gripping the sleeve of my jacket with an iron grip. The same way I had his.

The blinding white light let me know that everything was going down, now. But Sam was just staring.

The last time I saw him like this dad had died. But this was worse.

So much worse.

I pulled and pulled, until he looked up at me.

His eyes held my deepest fears. They told me everything; every lie, every time he drank from that bitch, every sin.

They told me that Sam would never be ok again.

I had never ever hated someone as much as I hated Yellow-Eyes... and the angels... and Ruby... and Lucifer... and God... and myself. If I hadn't broken that first seal, Sammy wouldn't have done this. Any of it.

It's my fault really, but I have to fix Sam first.

"Dean?" His voice was rough and different, not like Sam's.

I grabbed his arm roughly and yanked him as hard as I could out of the room.

We finally made it outside after what seemed like hours, and my baby was sitting out front.

"Sam, we have to go to Bobby's." I said, silently pleading for him to snap out of his trance.

"Why?" His question sounded so child-like, that I was reminded of when he was four and started asking about mom. "Why Dean?"

"Sammy, we-"

"I-I did something bad." His voice shook as he looked me directly in the eyes. "I did something bad. I did something bad."

"Sam?" I stared in shock as he suddenly grabbed my shoulders in desperation. "Oh Sam."

"I'm not good. I'm bad." If Ruby weren't dead already, I'd murder her a thousand times over. How dare she screw up my brother like this?!

"No Sam. You're not b-" He cut me off, tears in his eyes.

"Dean, I'm bad."

And then he collapsed into my arms.

"Sammy."


	2. Bobby

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural 

A/N: This is Bobby's point of view when Dean manages to drag Sam back to his place.

Story Two: Bobby

I must have called Dean at least seven times tonight, and until I heard the familiar roar of the Impala's engine, I genuinely thought he was dead. Scariest hour of my life.

When he came through the door alone, my old heart nearly skipped a beat.

"Sam?" I croaked.

"He's in the car." His voice sounded the same, but his eyes seemed to tell me that he was holding the weight of the world on his shoulders.

So, Sam had killed Lilith then.

"Is he alright? Why ain't he with you?"

"He passed out." Dean looked out the still open door. "He did it Bobby."

"I know." I tried to sound calmer than I felt. The older boy was about ready to go off the deep end, so I reckoned his little brother had already done just that. "How bad?"

"Bad." One word spoke more than a thousand ever could.

Dean turned to look at me once again, and he had never looked more like his father.

There was a shadow over his face, that I knew would only go away if Sam was alright, his eyes were angry and self-hating to the point where I wanted nothing more than to slap the boy. "Dean, it ain't your fault."

"Yes it is." He looked away again and John was gone. Dean changed the subject. "Help me carry him inside, please." He walked out the door and I followed feeling lower than dirt for not being able to take some weight of his shoulders.

I followed him in silence, looking down at my shoes.

"Sam?" I nearly ran into Dean's back as he stopped short.

The youngest Winchester boy was looking at us, holding the Impala's rearview mirror.

"Sorry." Sam's eyes were distant and cloudy. He wasn't completely there.

"How're ya feelin' Sam?" I asked.

His gaze shifted from peaceful insanity into pure anger. "I ended the _world_ Bobby. How do you think I feel?"

"Sam, stop it." Dean said quickly.

"No, he's right. It was a dumb question." I quickly amended. "What are we gonna do about…this."

Sam stopped glaring and smiled at me pleasantly. "I dunno." He walked into the house, still clutching the broken rearview mirror.

Something really was wrong with him, and it hurt to watch.

"We need help Bobby." Dean said before following after his brother. He didn't spare a second glance at his precious "baby", but I did. And I regret it.

Both of the other mirrors were smashed and the passenger door had a dent the size of a pregnant cat, the sight alone had me flabbergasted.

"Right, I'll call Ellen." I called over my shoulder.

I thought about the first time I had ever met Sam, he was three years old, and it disturbs the hell out of me to think that the sweet little boy could do ALL this.

And, I'm not talking about the car.

A/N: I don't know if this one is as good as the last chapter, but I tried. Bobby was harder than I thought to write. The next chapter will be about Ellen, who will be very maternal. Does anyone have ideas about what could happen in hers? Jo is after Ellen's and I have that one pretty much mapped out. So review, no flames please.

Also, let me know if I'm writing Dean right.


	3. Ellen

Pieces by Candygirl97

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Supernatural.

A/N: Did anyone see the five minutes of the first episode for season 5. It explains why I'm not writing Castiel's point of view. Sorry, I wanted to, but it wouldn't make sense. Lucifer's gate is the symbol that Lilith's blood makes.

Also, Ellen was incredibly hard to write for me, so be kind and let all criticism be constructive.

Chapter 3: Ellen

Ever since I started working with Jo, I knew someone I loved would get hurt.

I just assumed it would be her.

But I got off the phone with Bobby twenty minutes ago and now Jo and I are headed over to his place. Sam's spiraling downward and if we can't help him, then he'll shatter into a million pieces and we'll never get him back.

During the drive Jo hasn't stopped asking questions. Is Dean alright? Is Sam physically hurt too? What exactly can we do to help a "basket case"?

She means well, but I can't answer these questions. Not yet.

When finally pull up I see Dean sitting on the porch and holding an empty bottle of whiskey, right before he chucks it in the air. It smashes against one of Bobby's old cars.

Jo took a step back, but I kept going.

"Dean?" He turned to look at me, anguish in his green eyes.

"Ellen." He nodded. "Thanks for coming, we didn't know who else to call. Hey Jo."

"Hi." My daughter's voice was timid, a first for me.

"Bobby's in the panic room, with-" He stopped and his eyes hardened. "With Sam."

"How's he holding up?" I tried not to show how much seeing the boy like this hurt me, or how much I didn't want to see the younger Winchester suffer.

"Not good." His voice cracked slightly.

"Jo, honey, go inside and see if Bobby has any extra beer." I ordered.

"Ok." She walked quickly into the house, hopefully understanding.

"Dean." He looked down as I strode up to him. I reached out and pulled his chin up so he could look me in the eye. "It's just us out here boy."

His eyes filled with tears and my maternal instincts were screaming at me to comfort him.

"Ellen, it's my fault." He said, his rough voice wavering.

"How?"

"I broke the first seal, and now. . ." Dean paused. "Now, almost losing Sam is practically an everyday thing."

"Sam made the decisions to go after Lilith and to listen to… you know, no one ever told me that demon broad's name."

"Ruby."

"Whatever, the point is it's as much his fault as it is yours." I touched his shoulder gently. "I'm going to head inside and leave you to think about that."

I walked towards the door.

"Ellen?"

I turned to see Dean standing taller.

"Thanks."

I nodded and Jo came outside. "Mom, Sam's asking for you."

"I'm coming." I headed inside and forced myself to stop, to take a deep breath and prepare myself before going down into the basement/panic room.

I could have had five years of time to prepare and never been ready for what I saw in there.

"Sam?"

He was drawing all over the walls. Drawing devil's traps, protection symbols, Lucifer's gate, and pentagrams. He turned and looked at me, expression going from brooding concentration to child-like happiness. "There you are!" He sounded so young, like the four year old he was when I first saw him. Right before Bill died.

"Hello sweetheart, how are you?"

"Why do people keep asking me that? I'm fine."

I nodded and let out a sigh as I looked around the door. There were two soft looking beds in here, and I suddenly knew where Dean had been sleeping.

Underneath the bed on the far side, one word was written in the same red sharpie as the walls.

Bad.

Oh god.

"Sam, have you eaten today?" He was thin as hell.

"No, I'm not hungry." He muttered something after, but I couldn't hear it.

"What was that Sam?"

"I want them back." He said looking around wildly. "I know what I know and I want them back."

"Who Sam? Who do you want back?"

He pointed at the door shakily; I noticed his arm and a thin scar going from the back of his thumb to the other side of his wrist, but I chose to ask Bobby later rather than jump to conclusions.

There were carvings on the wooden door. Names?

_Mom_

_Jess_

_Dad_

_Madison_

_Ava_

_Andy_

_Ash_

_Ruby_

_Dean_

Ruby and Dean were both crossed out for what I hoped were different reasons.

"I'm not allowed to have sharp objects anymore Ellen." Sam said calmly, picking at his scar.

"That's ok." I smiled softly. "Can I get you anything?"

"Get them back Ellen! I need them back." He suddenly rushed at me to take hold of my shirt. "Get them back for me?"

His eyes were pleading and my heart was aching. "I'll try Sammy." Maybe using Dean's nickname would get him back to normal.

"I mean it, I'll do anything. I'll die happy! I just want them back."

"Don't talk like that." I scolded and he let go.

"I'm sorry." He crouched back into the corner and picked up his marker. "I'm sorry." He started drawing another pentagram. He sniffled.

"No, no Sammy, its fine." I quickly stepped over to him and pulled him into my arms, where he burst into tears. "You're ok. You're ok, now." The boy was so fragile and I needed to take care of him, like a mother bear.

He got quiet after a few minutes of crying.

"Ellen?" His voice was hoarse and quiet.

"Yeah?"

"It's Sam."

That's my boy.

A/N: Okay, I'll post the last two chapters next weekend. Special thanks to bleedingkansas and OhMyDean for being the first two to review. Yay! I hope you enjoy this chapter and comment soon. Next Up: Jo. Hers is kind of sad, fair warning.


	4. Jo

Pieces – Chapter Four: Jo

A/N: I am so sorry, writer's block is a bitch (writer's block: JERK!). Spoilers in the next chapter for season 2's episodes No Exit and Born under a Bad Sign. Also I disclaim all rights to Supernatural and all it's characters.

"He's gonna be alright, right?" I asked Bobby as he flipped through a book on entering a person's subconscious. Yeah, that'll help; put more things into Sam's brain.

"Sam will bounce back, sure thing . . . but that's not who you're talkin' about, is it?"

I shot him a sideways look from my book on the effects of mass-hypnosis on psyche patients, which was yet another "useful" book.

"Dean will be ok once Sam's ok." Bobby continued. "That's all there is to it."

"Alright. There's nothing in this book that'll help Sam." I shut it and tossed it onto the table in front of me just as my mom walked out of the panic room, a tired look on her face. "Hey mom, what's going on?"

"He's asking for you sweetie. Dean's trying to talk him out of it, but he's so far gone. . ." Mom trailed off.

"I'll go." I didn't know why on god's green earth Dean thought I wouldn't want to see Sam, and I was ready to tear him a new one because of it. I don't blame Sam for being possessed, or for what happened in Philadelphia.

"C'mon Ellen, I'll grab you some whiskey and you can pick up where Jo here left off."

Mom just nodded.

I stood up, brushing off my faded blue jeans and headed down to the panic room. I felt Bobby's and my mom's eyes staring at my back as I went.

As I approached the iron door, I heard voices; one pleading and angry, the other pathetic and miserable.

"Sammy, I'm just saying that you should hold off until you're out of your funk before you talk to Jo."

"I need to apologize Dean! I said horrible things to her back in Duluth and…"

Dean cut him off angrily. "You told me you didn't remember anything!"

"I lied. It was awful. Meg did awful things, to Jo and that hunter, and you, almost Bobby too." Sam let out an awful sob and Dean sighed.

"Sammy, please don't-"Something crashed to the floor as I stopped just outside the huge door and peeked through the little window. Dean had grabbed his brother's wrists and the two of them were standing over a broken lamp. "Sam, that was the only spare lamp Bobby had."

"Sorry." Sam looked at the ground.

I knocked tentatively on the door. "Dean?"

"Come in Jo." He didn't sound exactly happy to know I was here.

"Hi." I tried not to show the entirely inappropriate way my heart fluttered when he said my name, no matter how cranky, and spared me a glance. "Hey Sam."

"Hello." Sam was glumly staring at the floor before half-glaring at his brother. "Can you leave now Dean?"

Dean was clearly in no hurry to leave me alone with his damaged brother.

"It's ok Dean, I won't bite." He smiled a little. That was progress.

"Fine." Dean relented with a heaving sigh.

Sam and I smiled at him in unison . . . oddly child-like unison.

Dean left the room and I opened up my mouth to speak, only to have Sam put up his hand to stop me.

"One second." He said scowling and walked over to the door he inhaled and: "DEAN!!!! Get out of here!"

I must have jumped ten feet in the air.

"Sorry." Dean grumbled from behind the door and Jo smirked.

"Sam. . . He's just looking out for you." I tried explaining.

"I know, because I'm Sammy, the younger brother." Sam sighed and sat down on his cot. "Be careful, there's a lot of broken glass."

"I see." I replied looking around at the broken glass. "I'm not mad at you Sam."

"You should be."

"Why? Because you were tricked by a demon?" I shrugged. "Shit happens."

Sam released a wry chuckle.

"Listen Sam, I'm still . . . on edge about the Minnesota thing, but not about you. I forgave you a year ago." I sighed, I hated bringing this up. "Now, you need to forgive yourself."

We sat there in an awkward silence for a few moments before Sam nodded. "Ok, if you do."

"I do." I nodded firmly. "Demons suck, they're tricky bastards. That's the first thing my mom taught me."

Sam smiled slightly and I knew I had broken through at least somewhat.

"Really? You don't blame me for this apocalypse thing?"

"Not entirely. You made the decision to do some of the stuff that lead to this, you're gonna have to live with that. But the blame doesn't all fall on you. Those angels, Lilith, Ruby, Dean . . ."

"No!" He yelled, standing quickly, and I felt myself recoiled. "It's not Dean's fault."

"Ok." I put my hands up in surrender. "Fine, I was just going to say that Dean couldn't stop them either."

"It's entirely my fault. I drank, I killed, and I did it." He repeated the last part twice more before sitting back down.

I sighed hopelessly, one step foreword and three steps back. "It's not."

"Liar." He seemed to hiss at me. This must be the unstable side of Sam. "You're a liar."

"I'm not a liar." I said firmly. "I promise you."

"A liar's promise is just another lie." He frowned and I couldn't help but notice the way the dark circles under his eyes were emphasized when he pouted.

"Dean trusted me to come see you." I reminded him gently.

"Dean doesn't care anymore." He looked like a kicked puppy.

I frowned. "Now who's a liar?" I questioned him. He blinked in surprise. "Dean is a wreck, because of you. He needs you to be your self again. He's like a-a zombie or a . . . no, zombie pretty much covers it."

"He seems fine." Sam crossed his arms.

"Because, he's with you." I said stubbornly. God, this boy was damaged. "He puts up a mask when he is around you. To protect you." I scowled. "But its time to grow up Sam."

"What?" He seemed surprised. Well, too bad, I tried the other approach.

"You need to take responsibility for what happened, without relying on everyone else's pity for support. You can't do that." I crossed my arms. "I tried that after my dad, and then my mom told me to grow up."

"I'm sorry."

"You should be, but remember that you aren't the only one to blame." I walked over to touch his shoulder. "There are plenty of others who share it."

I decided it was time to go, and made my exit.

My mom and Dean were talking in the library while Bobby seemed to be waiting for me to come out.

"I'm done." I went into the kitchen and grabbed a beer. Dean followed.

"Is he ok?"

"He'll be fine. . . I think."

"Good." He nodded and then descended into Bobby's panic room.

I hope it will be.


End file.
